Friends that are no friends

It was soo hurtful until it made me cry when people you thought are your friends totally ignored you & did not treat you as a friend. You are totally invincible in their eyes. We become totally like strangers in front of each other. Maybe what i was thinking before to disassociate myself with this group of people is the right move. Maybe God had shown me their true colours so that i will not waste my time & energy with them anymore. I know my life will be empty in the future with no friends but i must go on & be strong.

I don't want to shed anymore tears for them. They don't deserved it. Today, let just say that it will be my last tears for my so-called friends. If you are my true friends, you will at least say hi or smile at me. I didn't received any these past few days. I never hear any concern from you guys. You guys just totally ignored me. To Sadie, it was always me who become you ears, but you never become my ears. I always listen to your problem when you need advice. When you needed help or asked for something, it's hard for me to refuse you. But, i never ask anything in return or asked you to pay back until you totally forget about it.

Although by withdrawing from this friendship meant i will be alone, i just need to suck it up. All this while, i always been left out from their important activities & outings. They never ever asked/invited me to join them. And, i'm tired to think maybe only I alone who thinks or considers that they are my friends but in actual facts they never treat me as one. So long my so called friends ...

p/s: to Sadie, although i hate to say this...what an opportunist you are. you only needed me when you have problem & when you dont have anyone to turn to. You are fair-weather friend.
to Elmo, no simple hi from you even you walked pass-by me. Oopps!! I forgot. I am no use to you anymore & it's okay to forget about me, right? Besides, you are happy now. My bet...(although your action was hurtful today). I wish that you don't treat me nicely before & i wish that i don't have any feeling for you, so that it'll be easier for me to forget you.

God, i am sorry to say these things about them. I know I dont have a right to judge them. Maybe I am wrong. I just need to let what inside me out. If i dont let them out, they'll eat me slowly & i'll fell depressed. i dont know where to turn to God. Please forgive me Lord for thinking that way..

~soledad~